Before the doubters we fly,
So many market makers to choose
We start our upticking and learn to run.
And yes, We’ve just begun.
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Quit Your Whining aka Don’t Worry, Be Happy

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Ask just about anyone how our economy is doing and you’re likely to hear one or more of the following:

We’re in a recession! The stock market is crashing! Oil’s never gonna stop going up, we’ll always need more! Housing’s collapsing so people won’t be able to pay off their debts! Wall Street is laying off drones by the thousands!

Here’s a suggestion: Shut up you whiny little bitches.
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Welcome To The New TimothySykes.com, Kinda Like Super Shredder

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Welcome to my new website! Check out the official PR…this is three months of hard work baby and its really brought me back to my pyramid-building days…tons of cool features—por ejemplo, click and drag on any of the sections like TIM101 and you can rearrange their position to suit your preferences, vertically—for now

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Understand this is just the ground floor because as you can see, there’s a dozen+ projects goin’ on here, all in an effort to make this stuff more fun, understandable and ultimately help you become more profitable. Over the next few days and weeks, I’ll be going over each new section in detail, but for now, here’s a little breakdown of everything:

Bucks
Rewards for your thoughts—now every time you post or comment you get a TIMbuck, talkin’ with sponsors of all sorts right now, we’ll have a whole list of goodies shortly, wouldn’t it be cool if you post a good pick, and everybody profited and gave you so many TIMbucks that you could cash in your chips to get 50 free trades from GFT? That’s the plan anyway…

101
Where Real Traders Begin—you know all those beginner-type questions? Yah, they all get answered here, got plenty of articles in the works, everything from reading level 2 and my fav. books for beginners to…well, stuff like that…also you can see ALL the details of my trades, good and bad, I wish everybody in this industry would do

Reads
Reading is FUNdamental—bringin’ my whole library back to 1 page, only about a quarter of them on there now, good things take time

Reviews
The toughest critic around—no more 1-2 line answers, name any US stock and I’ll do a full analysis-technical, fundamental and everything else—for $20/ticker, for entertainment purposes only of course (happy you SEC bastards!?!?!), let’s see how this goes

Tv
Real. Fun. Really Funny—just the beginning, got soooo many ideas, just gotta clone myself to find the time to film them all, new clips—not necessarily just me—will be rolled out each day, stuff that’s gonna make you laugh, cry and most importantly, occupy you so you won’t be tempted to trade every damn pattern!

Terms
Nothing but the truth—an accurate financial/trading glossary, not like the one put out by those morons at Investopedia who say it’s impossible to short sell penny stocks and cannot account for my existence or my profits
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My Take On Visa Inc (V) aka Baseball Card Collecting In The 1990s

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No matter how many times I say stick to trades with ideal risk-reward ratios for the smaller investor—those being media-hype plays and pumps and dumps courtesy of your friendly local stock promoter, the questions about random real companies keep streaming in—none moreso than Visa (V). The emails came from far and wide and helped inspire the thesis of THIS AOL article I wrote about the company the morning before its IPO. Yup, I was dead right. So how did I know it’d follow a VMware (VMW)-type trajectory; because simple theories work best.

Think about it, everybody and their other mother is comfortable with the strategy of buy what you know, buy blue-chip companies—blehhhhhhh! The absurd popularity of that strategy makes me gag because while it’s worked well in the past, it’s sooooo old news now. I’ll use the example highlighted in my book An American Hedge Fund by comparing this strategy to baseball card collecting—everybody growing up in the 1980s and 1990s who collected those stupid little pieces of cardboard dreamed of their values soaring into the thousands of dollars, just like those cards from back in the 1950s and 1960s.

Unfortunately, the card companies took advantage of this great track record and us suckers, producing those cards en mass and us kids—ignorant to the laws of supply and demand—bought them en mass, only too happy to pack them away and wait to collect our inevitable rewards.

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Pirates Pretending To Be Pig Farmers (Seriously)

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Wow and I thought I liked money—the pig f#@!ers over at Agfeed Industries (FEED) raised another $25mil just 7 days after their first $10 mil plundering financing. The short time span between blatant dilution financings tells us now it’s gonna get interesting, a.) we’re def. gonna see more pig farm acquisitions (no doubt at the typical 2-5x income), which given soaring commodity prices, investors are gonna like (good short-term, but dangerous long-term aka why can they get them so cheap?) and b.) whoever bought these shares is even more motivated to turn this into a Wall Street darling telling clients and paying off/bribing getting others to tell their clients “with the Olympics coming up and food prices soaring, this is how you invest in both trends” (BS generalization).

Other than scalping, the rise is too gradual to warrant any shorting and if done right, this could become a great pump and dump story stock, meaning the potential upside is enormous…so respect the pump, buy if it suits your personality, don’t short too soon and never ever believe the hype. When this thing dies down—and it will eventually die, as 995 out of 1,000 piece of poo companies do (seriously)—its chart will resemble similarly flawed fraudulent microcrap lover of acquisitions ZVUE.

TigerLogic (TIGR): The Piece Of Crap Formerly Known As Raining Data (RDTA)

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Over the weekend, microcrap speculators everywhere have been debating (RDTA). While I wrote about the briefly HERE (Friday morning pre-market…before its 40% surge…thank you, thank you), I was right not to touch it in the morning cuz it was just too illiquid, but ‘twas wrong of me to be neck deep in fundamentally flawed / factually inaccurate but sub-par-chart-play EDEN, failing to see RDTA get pretty damn liquid mid-day after they released this fluffy PR about some crappy revolutionary new web search “add-on” and announcing a name/ticker change to blah bah blah.

Unlike ignorant financial journalists, I’m not even gonna dignify these laughable pieces of s#@! news pieces by detailing their BS contents). Those of you who’ve read my book An American Hedge Fund know these crappy companies loveeee trying to hype themselves with meaningless name changes—no different than adding a “dot com” to the end of their name back in 1999-2000…except now they’re just trying to get prospective suckers investors to forget their stock is 70% off its 2000 highs aka they’ve still got some bitter shareholders.
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Hot Stocks: A Bunch Of Mediocre Wannabes aka Stocks Not Gone Wild

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No ideal trade setups, just getting bored by a bunch of mediocre chicks

(GOOG) Great earnings, gotta respect the after-hours stock gains, optimistic people looking for an excuse…but be careful–$200 million in one-time currency gains—without it, wouldn’t be such a blowout…too pricey a stock to matter to TIM, but just be a little weary here.

(FEED) Just cuz I said this is a typical smallcap raising capital at inflated prices, doesn’t mean those inflated prices will deflate anytime soon. Classic finance idiots gotta learn to read—what are you guys a bunch of typically coked out Wall Street ANALysts?—I also explained that whoever bought the $10 million at $16 now has a huuuuge incentive to pump the stock. It’s called a balanced blog post, deal with it suckas!

(MMTIF) Still watching this TRUE pump and dump, again doesn’t mean I’m gonna short it—pump and dumps can last much longer than anyone expects, as (MXFD) shorts have learned the hard way
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The SmallCap Pump & Dump Capital Raising Game: AgFeed Industries Inc. (FEED)

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What’s the ultimate goal of publicly-traded smallcap companies? They sell shares when their stock prices surge to raise the most capital possible. This morning, recent high-flyer Chinese pig-farmer (FEED) did just that, becoming the latest victor in the smallcap pump and dump capital raising game, raising a cool $10 million, selling shares at $16, less than 10% below their closing price of $17.40. What are they gonna do with this newfound capital—buy more pig farms of course!

You can look at this two ways—it’s great for the company that they could raise so much $ at such high prices—usually these financing deals are done at much bigger discounts, think 25%+. The capital gives them a shot at true business glory, even if the odds are still decidedly against them. Then again, it’s dilution below market prices—the rich get special deals—so this stock should open lower as poor people sell their shares—wondering how to buy stock 10% below market prices (hint: you either need to give the company a lot of $ or convince them you and your connections can and will pump up their stock price)

Don’t get me wrong, agri stocks are hot and this is a clear chart breakout so I have only two concerns:
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Did I Do That? Pump & Dump Exposes And Revolutionary Finance Websites

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With my CNOA pump and dump expose last night and it’s 25% tankage today, I gotta wonder:

Possibly, probly, who knows…too bad I wasn’t short the stock myself—gotta learn to short sell these suckers BEFORE I chop ‘em to pieces, a la business models of Citron Research and Mark Cuban’s ShareSleuth.com

Nahhhhhhhh a.) it didn’t fit my pattern and b.) it’s more fun to write brutally truthful articles about stocks in which you have no positions, you do it just cuz it’s the right thing to do

I’ll tell you one thing I definitely did do right, that’s hiring and tirelessly working with Pallian to design the new site, which is looking redonkulous! I mean the guy is an Indian Picasso, he should be called Ghandcasso or Picandhi. To you lucky 50, advertisers and bloggers, the beta invites are being emailed out, so def. let me know what you think—what you like and don’t like, the site is for you—and for everyone else, you gotta wait til May 1st and settle for clicking the little thumbnail below: