I’ve teased my recent interview about the AMEX Black Card in a few blog posts, but due to overwhelming demand and critical acclaim, I gotta post some of it below so that those who are too lazy to click links can see what all the hype is about…

These are just a few select questions-and-answers, see the full article HERE:

So Tim, what are your thoughts on the black card?

I think it’s got some great benefits and features and it’s definitely bragworthy, but I doubt it’s right for anybody who doesn’t own their own biz, is worth less than a few mil or for any cheap Jews. In fact, I think the Torah specifically states in Cheapjewonomy 3:23-7:11: “Thou shalt not spend $2,500/year on something so superficial”

In order to be in the Who’s Who on Wall Street, is a black card a requirement? If not, is there another card that people are starting to flaunt now?

No, in order to be WWoWS you just have to be a prick and willing to lie, cheat and steal—depending on the situation/client. A black card is just one of the many possible trophies you receive for being such a shitty human being/above-average financier.

The card now being flaunted around is the BOB card, or Banking On Bankruptcy card—as in “I’m banking from betting that your firm is going bankrupt.” It’s getting more popular by the day, especially among the hedge fund crowd.

Does it seem like everyone on Wall Street has one, or is still a symbol of having “arrived”?

Many of the true higher ups—and even moreso the wanna-appear-to-be-higher-ups-but-really-have-little-talent-importance-or-intelligence-just-family-money-connections-or-coke-problems-usually-all-three—definitely have one. Throw a bag of blow at anyone dining at Per Se, Masa or Daniel on any given night and chances are you’ll hit a black cardmember, not to mention you’d get a good laugh from watching the mad scramble for the bag itself as if it were Barry Bonds’ 756th home run ball. (If anyone takes me up on that suggestion, please put the video on Youtube, it’s got viral written all over it!)

What is the largest purchase, with the card, you have heard of someone making?

One of my fund manager acquaintances booked a week and a half stay at the Bellagio Villas, which at $6,000/night, came to $60,000 or so (see the pics HERE) and that was before all his costly “perks”.

I was invited to go, but there were three problems a.) I don’t do coke so I would’ve been the oddball of the group b.) I was in the middle of a big stock trade so I didn’t want any distractions and c.) I had just come down with a nasty sinus infection

Story of my life, my Jewishness, stock trading and lack of a drug addiction combined to prevent me from having fun at someone else’s expense. Life could be worse.

Tags: Interviews, Q&A, Rants