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Photo Of Randall Lane By Chester Higgins Jr./The New York Times

Note: Aside from the last paragraph this post is written following the journalistic style of Randall Lane—treating assumptions and circumstantial evidence as fact. It’s cruel, amateurish and immature—oh yes, I know—but that basically sums this guy up so in order to help him grow up, he must be given a taste of his own medicine.

To those who don’t care and just want stock picks—this is also a great lesson on how to pounce when your enemy is wounded, no different than the vultures who took out Bear or LTCM.

Last time Randall Lane, editor-in-chief of Traitor Monthly was in Page Six, he was attacking a small-time trader (me) because his magazine staff fumbled, disinviting me from their little party at the last minute after we’d been discussing my covering the event for MSN Money for days.

Clearly in the wrong, this balding bastard was forced to go on the offensive, charging my hedge fund’s losses were the result of my publicity hounding rather than bothering to research the matter like a responsible journalist might do (turning his nose up at the complimentary book I’d sent him weeks before that explained the situation in detail) and running his arrogant mouth off to the press, confident of favorable treatment due to his connected Forbes wife.

Now, just a few months later, the tables have turned as Lane himself was fired as publisher of the Player’s magazine by Lenny “Nails” Dykstra who called Randy boy out on what he’s becoming known for, trash talking when he doesn’t get his way: “If you want to fight, take me on. Don’t go behind my back and bad mouth me,” said Dykstra. “He thinks I’m going to buckle,” said Dykstra, referring to Doubledown President Randall Lane. “I don’t buckle – I go to war.”

This time—in what commentators have hailed as a landmark event for Page Six in terms of accuracy–not even Lane’s old lady could save him from Page Six judging him to be their #1 loser last week.

The fight concerns expensive parties, overspending and missed payments, which is nothing new to stupendously shallow Traitor Monthly—backed by several Traitor haters who came out to express themselves in full force in THIS article. Sorry Traitor, but you didn’t listen to me last October when I warned you about the dangers of your business model:

Now, as you say, my fund’s performance has been ‘laughably horrid’ and I am wiser for it. While unfortunate, these losses have made me an infinitely better person and I am forever changed. Instead of curling up in a shell as you apparently believe would be appropriate, I intend on showcasing my losses, so that others may learn from my mistakes and not be condemned to repeat them. To help people truly learn about all the risks and rewards associated with financial speculation, I will use my self-promotional skills to the fullest, cutting through the superficial and ultimately harmful lifestyle you so proudly promote.

Apparently, you’ve forgotten that traders, especially those of us under the age of 30, are works in progress. And when you turn your back on a fellow trader, you turn your back on trading itself. And when you turn on trading, you no longer are worthy of running a magazine called ‘Trader Monthly.’ Perhaps you should change the title to a more fitting description, ‘Traitor Monthly.

Sorry to say, I was too emotional then as I somehow forgot to include this gem of a quote, “The ideal reader, according to editor-in-chief Randall Lane, “is 29 years old, making $400,000 a year, and spending all of it.” (Wow)

So Randy, I know times are tough for you right now—no doubt bringing back memories of when your first magazine, P.O.V., went out of business—but unlike you I’m willing to give second chances to those who make mistakes. After all, we’re only human. If you can show some remorse for your actions, I’ll consider taking you on at my publishing company, BullShip Press, LLC—as an unpaid intern of course—and under my guidance, I think we’ll be able to put you on a more righteous path—no promises, there’s a whole lotta work to be done, but if you’re willing to change, I’m willing to help you get better. Contact me anytime.

Posted in Financial Media Circus, Haters, idiots, Press, Rants

Tags: Bastards, Financial Media Circus, Haters, idiots, Press, Rants