Just got one too many emails from weird weird weird people who mistakenly believe TIM is associated with The Timothy Plan. Let me set the record straight: hell no! Those guys give Timothy’s everywhere a bad name. Take one look at their mission statement and see that they’re total whack jobs:
The Timothy Plan® is a family of mutual funds offering individuals, like yourself, a biblical choice when it comes to investing. If you are concerned with the moral issues (abortion, pornography, anti-family entertainment, non-married lifestyles, alcohol, tobacco and gambling) that are destroying children and families you have come to the right place.
Their marketing materials probly should include pictures like this:
Unsurprisingly, Morningstar rates all their 14 funds one and two stars because they get graded on performance, not morality. And yet for all their inferiority, cult company assets are pretty decent—no doubt religion is a mighty find marketing device. (damn, if I only knew when I was trying to grow my hedge fund!)
These guys just don’t get it—Wall Street is a battlefield, Saving Private Ryan-style. You don’t bring a knife to a gunfight so it’s pretty damn tough when you don’t believe in guns. They need to watch my WallStrip interview and see the one rule to live by: “no coke, no hookers!” Invest in and trade everything else—good and bad information—use the good, bet against the bad…real and fake companies…preferably fake—more predictable…okay maybe not everything else, no drugs (poor risk-reward) nor slaves (as I said on CNN)
Here’s my personal advice to you Timothy Plan twirps: don’t ignore companies and people that offend you, short sell them! Just as I wish I could short sell your funds. Maybe at your next cult holiday party, instead of promoting closed-mindedness in the form of pipe bombs meant for abortion clinics, you can give the gift of knowledge in the form of my instructional DVDs! Then, if you got good enough at short selling, you’re funds will outperform, assets will rise and your cult company will prosper.
Remember, by working to make stock prices collapse, you can do far more damage to the “evil-doers” than you ever could by ignoring them. Hell Heck, maybe you can even drive some of those evil CEOs into Patrick Byrne-like states of madness. (He insanely sanely believed there was a Sith Lord-esque plot against his company, right before he got shipped off to Arkham Asylum where that talented bastard proceeded to secure a role in the upcoming Batman movie!)